Yesterday I woke up angry. I just couldn’t get over the anger I felt after that awful 5K. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m injured and need surgery. Unfortunately due to some crappy insurance issues, my surgery is on hold for a little while so I have no idea as to when I will be on the road to recovery but I know it’s not anytime soon.
Thinking about all this, how I’m injured, I need surgery and won’t be getting it for a while, I just knew I couldn’t let that 5K sit in my stomach as the last run/race I’ve had. The run was awful, I felt awful and the worst part was I gave up. Even when I saw the finish line, I actually slowed down opposed to giving it all I had left.
So I woke up yesterday angry and ready for redemption. PartyDog was at the gym which meant I could slip outside unnoticed (and without a fight about how I shouldn’t be running) and the weather was perfect: 65, breezy and sunny. I hadn’t done the wash yet so I had no clean running clothes which meant all I had were some old shorts, a cotton t-shirt (oh no!) and I somehow found two random mis-matched socks in my drawer. There was no fancy sweat-wicking shirt, no fancy running socks or shorts. It was just my sneakers, Garmin and myself.
As I was walking down to the path I knew was a 5K, a bunch of thoughts went through my head: What if this run is worse than yesterday? What if I really can’t run any faster? What if my legs just aren’t able to move? What if…what if…
When I realized I was about to sike myself out, I simply said ‘screw all that’, pushed the start button on my Garmin and went.
I ran, I hurt, I conquered.
This run felt brilliant (that’s fast for me peeps!). It was one of those runs that hurt in all the right places. It was painful, hard and I wanted to stop and say ‘whatever it doesn’t matter’ multiple times. But I pushed through because that’s what running is about. If running were easy, everyone would do it, but it’s hard, really hard. That feeling when you push through that wall is like no other. I was finally able to answer the question the Women’s Half Chicago asked all along: Why do you run? Answer: because I can push myself to accomplish great things. Back to basics: no fancy running clothes, no race bib, no fancy clif-shots, gus or gels, just running (and a fancy Garmin….and a busted face).
That’s all the nonsense I have for now! Why do you run?
PS. I realize running was probably a stupid idea, but I’ll be done for a while, don’t you worry!