If you know me or have read my blog at all, you know I’m a bit obsessed with boy bands….an obsession that borders on unhealthy really. Having grown up in the best boy band musical era ever, I am appalled with myself for never going to a Hanson concert before the age of 26. Shame on me.
Growing up you know BSB was my number 1 and they got all my attention. And let’s be honest, Hanson wasn’t nearly as cute as them back then. But now…people….now, the Hanson brothers have got IT going on. And I had to have a slice of Taylor Hanson pie.
As I was standing there on the floor chatting with Katie and Linds, all of a sudden I hear half of the venue start screaming. We turn and see Taylor Hanson approaching the bar on the far left side and stop to chat.
Considering we were on the other side of the venue closer to another bar, I didn’t want to take any chances and head over to the other side in case another Hanson brother came to our side bar! I mean there are three of them and the venue had three bars, my math was clearly spot on. Except after 20 minutes it was just Taylor still at the far bar.
Boy band mode kicked in. I pushed myself through the crowd and got up to closer to Taylor. At this point there was a crowd of girls screaming and jumping trying to get his attention but no spot for me to wiggle my way in. I was determined that nothing was going to stop me from touching Taylor.
There will be blood.
Being tall comes in handy at times like this. Pushing, elbowing, kicking, and thrusting hard were all made possible by my lanky arms and legs. Never have I ever been so thankful to my dad for giving me the genes to be an Amazon woman. I pushed my way up to the front and was directly behind Taylor. Behind his sweet cutie patootie butt.
Can I touch him?
Would I get arrested if I grabbed his butt?
What if I just poked it?
Surely he’s used to this, he’s in a boy-band after all.
He would probably like it.
Doesn’t being in a boy band come with groping territory?
OK I’m not going to grab his butt because if he turns around and see’s it was a 26 year old woman he might not be too cool with that.
Or maybe he would be into that…
I mean he’s married with like 403 children so he probably would appreciate if I grabbed his tush.
Taylor turns halfway around. I don’t know what to do so I immediately grab his elbow with all my might….and didn’t let go until he agreed to take a picture with me. Which was at least two minutes later. So for two full minutes, I had a death-grip on Taylor Hanson’s elbow while screaming TAYLOR I NEED A PICTURE WITH YOU, TAYLOR TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME. TAYYYYLORRR!!!
Finally he turned around, I shoved my phone at the first girl I saw behind me which probably wasn’t the best idea considering I was practically sitting in her lap and screamed TAKE OUR PICTURE!!! Taylor placed one of his hands on my side, smiled and we took the most magical picture ever taken in the history of human existence:
He bends down and whispers in my ear:
‘Hey girl, meet me after the show. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”
But Taylor, you’re married!
“I need you in my life.”
OK, we can make this work. I love you too Taylor.
Except that entire conversation happened in my head while I was creepily rubbing his entire arm until he managed to get away from me.
And that is how I almost got arrested for groping Taylor Hanson. If I could go back and do it again, I totes would of grabbed that Hanson tush of his!
So not only did I get one picture with Taylor, but I was also in multiple others with him and other people due to my death-grip on the man. I’m sure he’s looking at my hand lovingly in all those pictures.
The rest of the evening was freaking awesome. So much better than I ever imagined. I can’t even begin to explain just how…..sexy the Hanson brothers are. Their hair people, THEIR HAIR, oh lord that hair. I just wanted to jump on stage and run my fingers through all their hair and do some other things to them I probably shouldn’t publish on the Internet. No longer do these men have those gross little girl haircuts. Now they have beautiful hair that when you look at it, makes you realize everything in life is going to be OK.
Hanson, my friends and a little action from Taylor Hanson = best night ever. Hanson Heaven is where I want to spend the rest of my life.
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!