Posts Tagged ‘injury’
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013
This post has taken me a while to put into words. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now and have had a few conversations with my runner friends about it….it’s gonna be a long one and I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone because that is totes not my intention here. (xoxo, LYLAS!)
Last year I signed up for the Chicago Marathon. I remember being nervous just hitting that ‘submit’ button during registration. Then training started and I picked a training program I found online, began training immediately and followed that thing to a T. After making it a little more than half-way through the program I found out about my freakish injury and had to call it quits.
Little did I know that would be a blessing in disguise for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love running with every ounce of my soul. There’s no better feeling then heading outside after a long day at work and pounding my feet to the pavement. It’s magical how an amazing run can turn your entire day around. What I don’t like is feeling like I have to run. If you know me (or have read my blog a while), you know I’m a free spirit. I don’t like feeling like I have to do something and I don’t really like having things planned out. Which essentially is what training for a marathon is.
What I’ve realized from reflecting back on the almost year (I KNOW) since I found out about my injury, is that I didn’t like marathon training. I hated it in fact. I hated knowing I had to run X amount of miles everyday, that Tuesday was my rest day and Friday was a cross-training day. I hated the fact that I woke up on Friday already nervous for my long run on Saturday and that I spent all day Friday worrying about my long run the next day. I hated being sore and hungry 24/7 and most of all I hated feeling like I wasn’t running because I loved it but because I had to.
When you’re in the midst of marathon training and you find out you have an injury that requires surgery to allow you to run more than a couple miles one time a week, it feels like the world is going to end. All that time, effort and hours spent basically felt a waste. So yes, I was pissed. What I came to find out though is that I don’t like running long distances. And that’s OK.
What I do like is running based on my own free-will and running distances between 3-10 miles. Just because I’m not training for a marathon doesn’t mean I’m not a runner. Just because I don’t love running long distances doesn’t make me any less of a blogger either. I love to run, therefore I am a runner. Who decides what distance accounts to someone being a runner?
It drives me insane when I hear runners say “oh it’s only three miles, I don’t think that even counts.” Uh I’m here to tell you it does. Any amount counts. If you run 13 miles vs 13.1, you didn’t finish that half-marathon. Say you stop at 26 miles vs 26.2 in that marathon-you clearly did not finish it. So whether I run .1 miles or 16 miles, it all counts. For people who are just getting into working out or running would you discount their progress just because they can only run .25 without stopping? No you would’t because you know how awesome it is that anyone ever can run any distance at all.
So that is why I am choosing not to get my surgery. The thought of being in a boot, in physical therapy and out of working out for 6+ months just so I can run a few miles more than I can now is just not worth it to me at this moment in my life. Do I wish I could run whatever distance I want, however often I want? Absolutely, no doubt in my mind about that. But for right now, running a few miles 1-2 times a week combined with fitness classes and other machines at the gym is making me immensely happy.
I may not run often and I may not run too far but I still love running and I’m still a runner. Don’t make me feel bad about that and please don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I don’t love distance running and that is more than OK. Again, you do you, I’ll do me. Not every runner and/or blogger has to be a marathoner or half-marathoner. I’m both and I don’t run either. And I’m awesome, and so are you.
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!
Tuesday, September 11th, 2012
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while (I’m sorry) you already know about my stupid ankle injury that’s preventing me from running. I’ve been getting a lot of questions about what the status of my injury is so I figured it was time to do a post about it.
As of right now, nothing has changed regarding my ankle. The chipped extra bone is still in there preventing me from really running. The good news is, I can feel that the swelling in my tendons that surround this little bone has gone down. My new job has much better insurance so hopefully I can get the surgery and begin the road to recovery at some point in the next year. So how am I feeling about all this five months later?
I feel OK. I definitely don’t feel as in shape as I was when I was running 25+ miles a week. Despite the fact that I workout everyday, I can tell I’ve lost some muscle but my ankle in general feels a lot better. I have been able to run about one time a week for 3-4 miles and feel fine as long as I am adamant about icing.
This one’s a bit tougher. There are days I forget that I’m not allowed to run. When I have a great class or workout all seems right with the world. On days when I’m extremely frustrated and stressed, nothing I do seems to release that anxiety quite like running does for me. For the most part I’ve felt OK with the whole non-running thing. Running makes me happy so it’s hard to be quite as jolly when I can’t do something I love. At this point though, I’m so far out from distance running that the love has sadly sort of faded. (Running 15 miles doesn’t have quite the appeal it did a few months ago…) When I’m in the company of fellow runners or read race-recaps however, jealously is still fuming all up in this joint.
Well, I figured since I can run a few miles 1-2 times a week I might as well sign up for a 5K. I couldn’t resist signing up for the Great Lakes ZOOMA 5k since all my buddies are doing the half-marathon I obviously need to tag along for the fun. Right now, I’m building myself up to be able to do two interval workouts a week. I did one last week, one last night and my plan is to do two next week depending on how I feel. I really want to see how fast I can push myself for a 5K in the next month.
Don’t worry, if I’m in pain I’ll obviously back off and make this a fun run, but for now my mind is set on speed-work. Dr. Chin did give me the OK to run every once in a while so If I can’t run distance I might as well try and run fast. Well fast for me that is…
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!
What goal are you working towards right now?
PS. My NYC blogging girlfriend Joanne made a really awesome comment on my post yesterday I thought I would share “The way I see it is that being a runner is a state of mind, not just an activity. SO you can totally be a runner even if you can’t run. ” Tru dat girlfriend, tru dat.
Tuesday, June 26th, 2012
Yesterday I woke up angry. I just couldn’t get over the anger I felt after that awful 5K. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m injured and need surgery. Unfortunately due to some crappy insurance issues, my surgery is on hold for a little while so I have no idea as to when I will be on the road to recovery but I know it’s not anytime soon.
Thinking about all this, how I’m injured, I need surgery and won’t be getting it for a while, I just knew I couldn’t let that 5K sit in my stomach as the last run/race I’ve had. The run was awful, I felt awful and the worst part was I gave up. Even when I saw the finish line, I actually slowed down opposed to giving it all I had left.
So I woke up yesterday angry and ready for redemption. PartyDog was at the gym which meant I could slip outside unnoticed (and without a fight about how I shouldn’t be running) and the weather was perfect: 65, breezy and sunny. I hadn’t done the wash yet so I had no clean running clothes which meant all I had were some old shorts, a cotton t-shirt (oh no!) and I somehow found two random mis-matched socks in my drawer. There was no fancy sweat-wicking shirt, no fancy running socks or shorts. It was just my sneakers, Garmin and myself.
As I was walking down to the path I knew was a 5K, a bunch of thoughts went through my head: What if this run is worse than yesterday? What if I really can’t run any faster? What if my legs just aren’t able to move? What if…what if…
When I realized I was about to sike myself out, I simply said ‘screw all that’, pushed the start button on my Garmin and went.
I ran, I hurt, I conquered.
This run felt brilliant (that’s fast for me peeps!). It was one of those runs that hurt in all the right places. It was painful, hard and I wanted to stop and say ‘whatever it doesn’t matter’ multiple times. But I pushed through because that’s what running is about. If running were easy, everyone would do it, but it’s hard, really hard. That feeling when you push through that wall is like no other. I was finally able to answer the question the Women’s Half Chicago asked all along: Why do you run? Answer: because I can push myself to accomplish great things. Back to basics: no fancy running clothes, no race bib, no fancy clif-shots, gus or gels, just running (and a fancy Garmin….and a busted face).
That’s all the nonsense I have for now! Why do you run?
PS. I realize running was probably a stupid idea, but I’ll be done for a while, don’t you worry!
Friday, April 20th, 2012
Let’s celebrate that we made it through yet another week! And what a week it’s been my peeps. As you know (or should!) I had my followup MRI appointment with my bff Dr. Chin.
And if you are interested in how that went I’ll let you know just by telling you the very first thing he said to me:
I wish I would have seen something different.
WAH? My head zipped around and looked at him with a look of utter terror. I knew what was coming, but to actually hear the words you need surgery if you want to continue running, is another thing.
I’ll keep this short but it turns out the MRI found that my good ole tendons are seriously inflamed and not happy. Basically the chipped extra bone I have is causing them all sorts of issues. The tendon that connects my big toe is sea-sawing back and fourth along this chipped bone. So anytime I lift my big toe (walking, running, exercise in general) it sea-saws back and forth on the bone.
In other words, if I don’t get this removed there’s a chance the tendon could tear (OUCH) or it would just continue to get worse. He did give me some other band-aid type options but nothing that would actually allow me to run at the mileage I want to. Other than removing the bone of course.
Thankfully this isn’t major surgery so the recovery time is actually fairly fast compared to most other foot surgeries. If recovery goes as planned, I would be in a boot (sexy, no?) for 2-3 weeks immediately post-surgery and then I would move on to 6-8 weeks of physical therapy. Good new is that boots are the latest fashion craze right now, especially homemade ones.
I CAN RUN AGAIN!
I actually ran directly after I got home from the doctor. I got home and went right for the treadmill because I knew I needed to let off some serious steam and I figured the bone is coming out anyway so why not go for a run? And it felt glorious to run (despite the pain). I am excited to actually have an answer and a recovery plan to get me on track with running again. So, I need surgery, big deal. I’ll work through it with a positive attitude and will appreciate running that much more.
And as promised here are Friday searches:
- time to catch up with gossip mags (sure is!)
- annoying swimmers (congrats on actually landing on the right page, I am seriously annoying)
- pee’d ryan gosling (again??? why are people continually searching this?)
- what’s kelsey chows favorite band (I don’t even know who Kelsey Chow is)
I had a really hard time picking my faves for the week because there were two so bizarre:
- Do you see something creepy
- I’m 45 and inpregnated a 15 year old
Do you see something creepy? Why did that person end up on my blog?? And to the person who impregnated a 15 year old, shame on you! I’m assuming you ended up on my blog cause of my current obsession with Secret Life of the American Teenager.
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!