Posts Tagged ‘injury’
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013
This post has taken me a while to put into words. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now and have had a few conversations with my runner friends about it….it’s gonna be a long one and I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone because that is totes not my intention here. (xoxo, LYLAS!)
Last year I signed up for the Chicago Marathon. I remember being nervous just hitting that ‘submit’ button during registration. Then training started and I picked a training program I found online, began training immediately and followed that thing to a T. After making it a little more than half-way through the program I found out about my freakish injury and had to call it quits.
Little did I know that would be a blessing in disguise for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love running with every ounce of my soul. There’s no better feeling then heading outside after a long day at work and pounding my feet to the pavement. It’s magical how an amazing run can turn your entire day around. What I don’t like is feeling like I have to run. If you know me (or have read my blog a while), you know I’m a free spirit. I don’t like feeling like I have to do something and I don’t really like having things planned out. Which essentially is what training for a marathon is.
What I’ve realized from reflecting back on the almost year (I KNOW) since I found out about my injury, is that I didn’t like marathon training. I hated it in fact. I hated knowing I had to run X amount of miles everyday, that Tuesday was my rest day and Friday was a cross-training day. I hated the fact that I woke up on Friday already nervous for my long run on Saturday and that I spent all day Friday worrying about my long run the next day. I hated being sore and hungry 24/7 and most of all I hated feeling like I wasn’t running because I loved it but because I had to.
When you’re in the midst of marathon training and you find out you have an injury that requires surgery to allow you to run more than a couple miles one time a week, it feels like the world is going to end. All that time, effort and hours spent basically felt a waste. So yes, I was pissed. What I came to find out though is that I don’t like running long distances. And that’s OK.
What I do like is running based on my own free-will and running distances between 3-10 miles. Just because I’m not training for a marathon doesn’t mean I’m not a runner. Just because I don’t love running long distances doesn’t make me any less of a blogger either. I love to run, therefore I am a runner. Who decides what distance accounts to someone being a runner?
It drives me insane when I hear runners say “oh it’s only three miles, I don’t think that even counts.” Uh I’m here to tell you it does. Any amount counts. If you run 13 miles vs 13.1, you didn’t finish that half-marathon. Say you stop at 26 miles vs 26.2 in that marathon-you clearly did not finish it. So whether I run .1 miles or 16 miles, it all counts. For people who are just getting into working out or running would you discount their progress just because they can only run .25 without stopping? No you would’t because you know how awesome it is that anyone ever can run any distance at all.
So that is why I am choosing not to get my surgery. The thought of being in a boot, in physical therapy and out of working out for 6+ months just so I can run a few miles more than I can now is just not worth it to me at this moment in my life. Do I wish I could run whatever distance I want, however often I want? Absolutely, no doubt in my mind about that. But for right now, running a few miles 1-2 times a week combined with fitness classes and other machines at the gym is making me immensely happy.
I may not run often and I may not run too far but I still love running and I’m still a runner. Don’t make me feel bad about that and please don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I don’t love distance running and that is more than OK. Again, you do you, I’ll do me. Not every runner and/or blogger has to be a marathoner or half-marathoner. I’m both and I don’t run either. And I’m awesome, and so are you.
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!
Tuesday, September 11th, 2012
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while (I’m sorry) you already know about my stupid ankle injury that’s preventing me from running. I’ve been getting a lot of questions about what the status of my injury is so I figured it was time to do a post about it.
As of right now, nothing has changed regarding my ankle. The chipped extra bone is still in there preventing me from really running. The good news is, I can feel that the swelling in my tendons that surround this little bone has gone down. My new job has much better insurance so hopefully I can get the surgery and begin the road to recovery at some point in the next year. So how am I feeling about all this five months later?
I feel OK. I definitely don’t feel as in shape as I was when I was running 25+ miles a week. Despite the fact that I workout everyday, I can tell I’ve lost some muscle but my ankle in general feels a lot better. I have been able to run about one time a week for 3-4 miles and feel fine as long as I am adamant about icing.
This one’s a bit tougher. There are days I forget that I’m not allowed to run. When I have a great class or workout all seems right with the world. On days when I’m extremely frustrated and stressed, nothing I do seems to release that anxiety quite like running does for me. For the most part I’ve felt OK with the whole non-running thing. Running makes me happy so it’s hard to be quite as jolly when I can’t do something I love. At this point though, I’m so far out from distance running that the love has sadly sort of faded. (Running 15 miles doesn’t have quite the appeal it did a few months ago…) When I’m in the company of fellow runners or read race-recaps however, jealously is still fuming all up in this joint.
Well, I figured since I can run a few miles 1-2 times a week I might as well sign up for a 5K. I couldn’t resist signing up for the Great Lakes ZOOMA 5k since all my buddies are doing the half-marathon I obviously need to tag along for the fun. Right now, I’m building myself up to be able to do two interval workouts a week. I did one last week, one last night and my plan is to do two next week depending on how I feel. I really want to see how fast I can push myself for a 5K in the next month.
Don’t worry, if I’m in pain I’ll obviously back off and make this a fun run, but for now my mind is set on speed-work. Dr. Chin did give me the OK to run every once in a while so If I can’t run distance I might as well try and run fast. Well fast for me that is…
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!
What goal are you working towards right now?
PS. My NYC blogging girlfriend Joanne made a really awesome comment on my post yesterday I thought I would share “The way I see it is that being a runner is a state of mind, not just an activity. SO you can totally be a runner even if you can’t run. ” Tru dat girlfriend, tru dat.
Tuesday, June 26th, 2012
Yesterday I woke up angry. I just couldn’t get over the anger I felt after that awful 5K. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I’m injured and need surgery. Unfortunately due to some crappy insurance issues, my surgery is on hold for a little while so I have no idea as to when I will be on the road to recovery but I know it’s not anytime soon.
Thinking about all this, how I’m injured, I need surgery and won’t be getting it for a while, I just knew I couldn’t let that 5K sit in my stomach as the last run/race I’ve had. The run was awful, I felt awful and the worst part was I gave up. Even when I saw the finish line, I actually slowed down opposed to giving it all I had left.
So I woke up yesterday angry and ready for redemption. PartyDog was at the gym which meant I could slip outside unnoticed (and without a fight about how I shouldn’t be running) and the weather was perfect: 65, breezy and sunny. I hadn’t done the wash yet so I had no clean running clothes which meant all I had were some old shorts, a cotton t-shirt (oh no!) and I somehow found two random mis-matched socks in my drawer. There was no fancy sweat-wicking shirt, no fancy running socks or shorts. It was just my sneakers, Garmin and myself.
As I was walking down to the path I knew was a 5K, a bunch of thoughts went through my head: What if this run is worse than yesterday? What if I really can’t run any faster? What if my legs just aren’t able to move? What if…what if…
When I realized I was about to sike myself out, I simply said ‘screw all that’, pushed the start button on my Garmin and went.
I ran, I hurt, I conquered.
This run felt brilliant (that’s fast for me peeps!). It was one of those runs that hurt in all the right places. It was painful, hard and I wanted to stop and say ‘whatever it doesn’t matter’ multiple times. But I pushed through because that’s what running is about. If running were easy, everyone would do it, but it’s hard, really hard. That feeling when you push through that wall is like no other. I was finally able to answer the question the Women’s Half Chicago asked all along: Why do you run? Answer: because I can push myself to accomplish great things. Back to basics: no fancy running clothes, no race bib, no fancy clif-shots, gus or gels, just running (and a fancy Garmin….and a busted face).
That’s all the nonsense I have for now! Why do you run?
PS. I realize running was probably a stupid idea, but I’ll be done for a while, don’t you worry!
Tuesday, May 29th, 2012
I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that I can’t run right now and won’t be in the near future. Recovery from surgery is my top priority so I’ve been OK just knowing in the fall my feet will hopefully be pounding the pavement or treadmill once again. However, sometimes I still get insanely jealous and bitter about my situation. Like this weekend.
Since I was supposed to be attached to the couch and unconscious this weekend, I didn’t give much thought to a race I signed up for being this weekend. But my surgery got rescheduled which made me realize the Soldier Field 10 Miler was this weekend, the first race I signed up for and the one I was possibly most excited for (finishing at the 50 yard line sounds awesome!). I woke up Saturday angry and annoyed that I wasn’t running it and all my friends were.
The rest of the day I put on a happy face and entertained PartyDog but inside I was upset, anxious, annoyed at my body and just overall bitter that I wasn’t running it. And I couldn’t sign up to volunteer since I was planning on getting surgery so I was basically a bump on a log.
Sunday I woke up feeling the same, reading all the race recaps: the weather was awesome, the race was awesome and it was really fun. I made myself stop reading recaps and logged onto Facebook for some distraction and saw this:
OMG! That’s my love Guod! I forgot he was running his first half-marathon on Sunday. My anger, bitter and resentment immediately turned into me punching PartyDog screaming OMG DOUG FINISHED HIS FIRST HALF!!! THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! After obsessing over every single picture from the race he was in via Facebook and Instagram, I shared via Twitter how proud and excited I was for my friend to complete such an accomplishment (and that awesome post-race hair he’s got going on).
Then I remembered how I felt the same way when my girl Kim ran her first 5k! So the lesson learned from all of this is that while you may be injured and on the sidelines, there are other people out there doing incredible things. The way I look at it, for every runner at a race there is probably a runner sitting at home (or at the race watching) injured and dying to run. If you’re injured right now, try to find joy in your friends accomplishments or try to find joy in volunteering and cheering runners on at races. Right now might not be your time to shine but you’ll be running again at some point-you just have to wait for it.
That’s all the nonsense I have for now!